fuckinstoplights | IC inbox | Deer Town

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IC inbox | Deer Town

THE PARTY YOU HAVE DIALED CANNOT BE REACHED. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.

TEXT | VOICEMAIL | VIDEO MESSAGE

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That's okay. I understand.

[ Of all the things Connor was programmed with, """""tact""""" was apparently last on the list of things Cyberlife cared to give him so he's struggling with the best way to say this. He doesn't want to simply blurt it out, nor does he want to dance around the subject too long. In his mind, direct and to-the-point should be best but he's gathered that not everyone feels the same.

In the end he realizes he can do nothing but stumble through the news the best he can, avoiding being over-blunt as if picking through a minefield. ]

Something happened while we were there. [ Perhaps it's best to leave out the sacrifice and rainbow snake for now. Those are details that can be covered later. ] North is — She's dead. She shut down, Kagerou. I'm sorry.

[ Well. ]

[Well.]

[Whatever he was prepared to hear from Connor, that certainly is not it. That isn't remotely close. He ends up gaping at him. Surely, that can't be right. That must be incorrect -- a temporary stall, a low power malfunction. Plug in or refuel and all is well. That has to be what it is.]

[It can't be death.]

[We can be rebuilt - - Some memories became fragmented or lost completely. I wouldn't be me. - - Memories, they're all we have. They're the only evidence we have ever lived - - I just wanted more time.]

[It feels like his audio files are glitched again. Because a dozen conversations filter in. A dozen words and several voices. I just wanted more time.]

[When he manages to look back at Connor, his green eye is fever bright, wings shuddering against his back.]

Why?

[ Connor wishes more than anything that he had a simple answer to that. "We had to steal a skeleton" seems a foolish answer now, but. That's all it was. ]

We believe we found Sodder's grave, but it was guarded by a strange snake. We realized that if we wanted to recover the remains then we would have to offer some sort of flesh sacrifice. North volunteered.

[ Each time he tells this story he feels a fresh wave of regret that he hadn't insisted on offering his own heart instead, not that North would have let him. Still, it feels bad, and his expression darkens further. ]

Doctor Ziegler had constructed a spare heart. We hoped it would work but... it didn't. It's a near replica of North's original thirium pump but apparently it's not compatible.

[ He pauses, lets out a small huff of breath he doesn't need, and repeats: ]

I'm sorry.

[He has no idea what to say. How to process this. The closest thing he's ever had to loss has been leaving Shadowmaru. That had been a choice. That had been necessary to survive. This ... ]

[For some humans?]

[He doesn't say anything. He doesn't speak. Or move. The kind of stillness that doesn't come from a flesh and blood being. He wonders, slightly, if that means something poorly against him. If that means he can't feel this properly.]

[Because he's just a machine.]

[Just a machine -- whose life is less important than the human beings around them. Why would someone who wanted to live so badly just give up like that? Just give in?]

[Whose life is more important? - Hers. We can always be rebuilt.]

I don't... understand.

[ Connor's LED cycles from blue to yellow before settling on red as he watches Kagerou try to process the news. He wishes there were more he could do, more he could say, but it's the blind leading the blind here. Connor barely knows how to navigate this himself.

He's very quiet for a moment, even after Kagerou speaks again, but then: ]

Do you want to see her?

[ Perhaps that will help. ]

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