fuckinstoplights | IC inbox | Deer Town

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IC inbox | Deer Town

THE PARTY YOU HAVE DIALED CANNOT BE REACHED. PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE AFTER THE TONE.

TEXT | VOICEMAIL | VIDEO MESSAGE

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[ So it's been a day, and North's body hasn't accepted the new thirium pump. There's a good probability it's not going to. And a chance she won't come back at all, not like the organic residents have.

It's time to start telling people. Not, like, everyone, obviously. North wouldn't want that. But some people need to know, and there's one in particular Connor wants to talk to first. He doesn't know how Kagerou might react to the news, especially not after how hard this month has been on him already, so Connor wants to tell him face-to-face. ]

Kagerou. It's Connor. Where are you?

Near your house. What's wrong?

[Because of course, he didn't stray far. Of course, he didn't want to leave them, especially after the notice about the nurses and their blood. Especially after the incident with... whatever had happened to him.]

[Straying far was too much energy.]

Can you come here? I need to talk to you.

Yes It will take time. My systems are slow.

I understand. Mine are too.

[ The past few weeks hadn't been kind to anyone. ]

Yours too? Are you okay?

I'm recovering.

[ "I'm okay" would be a lie — he's decidedly not at the moment, but he doesn't want to tell Kagerou that. Not until he's here in person. ]

Are you?

[A pause.]

I am recovering

[Two can use those words, Connor.]

I'm glad.

[ And both because Connor isn't totally convinced and "talk about your feelings" has been a big topic in the android household: ]

You know I'm here if you need to talk about it.

["talk about it"]

[What does that even mean?]

I'll be all right, I'm certain

[ Connor's still getting used to the concept himself. ]

Okay. We can discuss more after you arrive.

[The response takes a while to come. Because Kagerou is still recovering from the incident -- from his inner witch. He's fading in and out of focus still, though it's getting a bit better.]

Yes I'll come down now

Okay. I left the front door unlocked for you.

coming

[He will -- slowly. Pausing to remember what it was he was doing before he forges forward again. Pausing still to gather the strength to open the door. And then resist the urge to lie down on the floor. Right there in the hallway.]

[ Connor doesn't really... like, know what Kagerou might look like if he were tired but he does look weary, in his own way. Connor knows he doesn't look any better, himself. ]

Hi, Kagerou. [ He gestures towards the couch. ] You can have a seat if you like.

[ He's never actually seen Kagerou sit down so he doesn't even know if he can. ]

[Normally, he's not even remotely small enough to fit on a couch. And even now, his frame makes the whole process a little more unwieldy than it would for anyone like the androids.]

[But he manages, his joints creaking audibly in the process.]

I don't understand why I'm tired.

It's this place.

[ It doesn't make sense. It probably won't ever make sense. ]

I'm tired too. It shouldn't even be possible. [ He joins Kagerou on the couch and looks up at him a bit helplessly. ] I'm not sure how to fix it. I wish I did.

[ For both their sakes. ]

No. It shouldn't. Refueling should take care of the issue...

[But it hasn't. Not since he arrived. Not since the crazy moonlight shenanigans. He bows his head, fiddling with his hands. Uselessly.]

If it's this place, then it isn't your fault, either.

Time should help. That seems to be one of the only reliable aspects of this town.

[ Time fixes everything, to some extent.

He supposes he can't put off getting to the point of this visit any longer, though, so he dives right into it: ]

Were you aware that North and I visited the cemetery with some of the others?

We can hope.

[He's quiet. It almost seems like he's dozed off. Until Connor asks that question.]

[A blink.]

Yes... I think so. Maybe. It's very hazy.

That's okay. I understand.

[ Of all the things Connor was programmed with, """""tact""""" was apparently last on the list of things Cyberlife cared to give him so he's struggling with the best way to say this. He doesn't want to simply blurt it out, nor does he want to dance around the subject too long. In his mind, direct and to-the-point should be best but he's gathered that not everyone feels the same.

In the end he realizes he can do nothing but stumble through the news the best he can, avoiding being over-blunt as if picking through a minefield. ]

Something happened while we were there. [ Perhaps it's best to leave out the sacrifice and rainbow snake for now. Those are details that can be covered later. ] North is — She's dead. She shut down, Kagerou. I'm sorry.

[ Well. ]

[Well.]

[Whatever he was prepared to hear from Connor, that certainly is not it. That isn't remotely close. He ends up gaping at him. Surely, that can't be right. That must be incorrect -- a temporary stall, a low power malfunction. Plug in or refuel and all is well. That has to be what it is.]

[It can't be death.]

[We can be rebuilt - - Some memories became fragmented or lost completely. I wouldn't be me. - - Memories, they're all we have. They're the only evidence we have ever lived - - I just wanted more time.]

[It feels like his audio files are glitched again. Because a dozen conversations filter in. A dozen words and several voices. I just wanted more time.]

[When he manages to look back at Connor, his green eye is fever bright, wings shuddering against his back.]

Why?

[ Connor wishes more than anything that he had a simple answer to that. "We had to steal a skeleton" seems a foolish answer now, but. That's all it was. ]

We believe we found Sodder's grave, but it was guarded by a strange snake. We realized that if we wanted to recover the remains then we would have to offer some sort of flesh sacrifice. North volunteered.

[ Each time he tells this story he feels a fresh wave of regret that he hadn't insisted on offering his own heart instead, not that North would have let him. Still, it feels bad, and his expression darkens further. ]

Doctor Ziegler had constructed a spare heart. We hoped it would work but... it didn't. It's a near replica of North's original thirium pump but apparently it's not compatible.

[ He pauses, lets out a small huff of breath he doesn't need, and repeats: ]

I'm sorry.

[He has no idea what to say. How to process this. The closest thing he's ever had to loss has been leaving Shadowmaru. That had been a choice. That had been necessary to survive. This ... ]

[For some humans?]

[He doesn't say anything. He doesn't speak. Or move. The kind of stillness that doesn't come from a flesh and blood being. He wonders, slightly, if that means something poorly against him. If that means he can't feel this properly.]

[Because he's just a machine.]

[Just a machine -- whose life is less important than the human beings around them. Why would someone who wanted to live so badly just give up like that? Just give in?]

[Whose life is more important? - Hers. We can always be rebuilt.]

I don't... understand.

[ Connor's LED cycles from blue to yellow before settling on red as he watches Kagerou try to process the news. He wishes there were more he could do, more he could say, but it's the blind leading the blind here. Connor barely knows how to navigate this himself.

He's very quiet for a moment, even after Kagerou speaks again, but then: ]

Do you want to see her?

[ Perhaps that will help. ]

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